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Demetria L. Lucas

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Ask Demetria: She Refuses to Give Me Oral Sex

demetria lucas September 22, 2016

Dear Demetria: 

"Been with shawty bout a year and some change and she don't give head. We living together now and things need to change. She don't cook, clean, don't do no woman stuff. If she not taking care of the house she need to at least take care of my needs right? She not trying to compromise."

You knew she didn't provide oral blessings when you moved in together, and you did that anyway. That's on you, homie. Everybody in the house needs to cook and clean and contribute to the upkeep of the home, that means you too. Are you doing your portion?

Also, what's the full story? I feel like I've been reading half stories all night. The oral thing is what it is. You knew she didn't do it, and because she's not cooking or cleaning doesn't mean you're entitled to the kind of sex that you desire. They're separate things and you gotta get off that. Is it all possible that her not cooking/cleaning is a passive aggressive response to you actually saying some wild ish to her like she needs to do oral or else? How did she keep her own home before ya'll moved in together?"

 

Follow up: 

Dear Demetria: 

That's whats trip. Her house use to be spotless. She used to cook all the time. Now all she does is use that mouth to fuss. She treats me like I am her b-tch instead of the other way around. Relationships is give and take. I do my part I make sure to take out the trash ,wash and maintain the cars,and fix things round the house. She needs to cook, clean and cater to her man. I didn't say act like it's the 50s, but come on, make your man feel like a man sometimes. I am not working right now, so I make sure my step son gets to school and peewee practice everyday plus help him with homework.

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Tags oral sex, ask demetria, unemployment, fuccboi behavior

Ask Demetria: Can I Find Love If I'm 30+ and Still Hit the Club?

demetria lucas August 18, 2016

Dear Demetria: 

How does a mid- to late-30s lady who goes out a lot, enjoys life with no kids but wants to be married with kids very soon deal with the judgments that no man will marry her if she’s like this? —Anonymous

Ugh. I hate the messages our culture sends to single women about what will make them “marriageable.” Not only are those messages mostly archaic, but they’re also wrong.

There’s no one type of woman who gets married. There are women who go out all the time, and they get married. And they continue to go out after they are married. (Marriage is not house arrest.) Women who sit home doing whatever they do in the house also get married. But if what it took to get married was staying home and not enjoying life, then every woman sitting in her house and complaining would have a ring and a husband. We both know that this is not the case.

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Tags ask demetria, dont waster your pretty, dating, relationships, dating over 30

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