Dear Demetria: 

How does a mid- to late-30s lady who goes out a lot, enjoys life with no kids but wants to be married with kids very soon deal with the judgments that no man will marry her if she’s like this? —Anonymous

Ugh. I hate the messages our culture sends to single women about what will make them “marriageable.” Not only are those messages mostly archaic, but they’re also wrong.

There’s no one type of woman who gets married. There are women who go out all the time, and they get married. And they continue to go out after they are married. (Marriage is not house arrest.) Women who sit home doing whatever they do in the house also get married. But if what it took to get married was staying home and not enjoying life, then every woman sitting in her house and complaining would have a ring and a husband. We both know that this is not the case.