(As part of my ongoing self-torture,) I asked a bunch of guys to share their thoughts with me about "the Nate Parker fiasco". I didn't tell them what to talk about, just through out a general, "What do you think about the Nate Parker fiasco?" and let them answer. (You might have caught the first post in that series here. And my response to that here.)

This was the first conversation I tried out. I originally posted it on my Facebook page last week.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

II texted a close guy friend to get his POV about Nate Parker. He doesn't do social media, really. So he's out of the loop on a lot of the discussions. I asked him about it on Wednesday, and he needed a night to go catch up. He wasn't even sure who Nate Parker was.

He got back to me on Thursday. He had no commentary on Parker. But he did share a few stories with me.

In one, he detailed a time in college that he and two of his friends were in a hotel room drinking. His boy's GF was there and she brought a girlfriend. The guy and his girl go for a walk, leaving my friend and another guy alone with the girl.

The girl seemed more interested in the second guy than my friend, so my friend rolls over and tries to go to sleep. He stirs at some point, and hears the girl saying, "no, no, no" just above a whisper. He looks over and sees the guy is on top of her and she's not pushing him off, but she is saying "no" again. Guy isn't stopping. He continues and they have sex.

I asked my friend what he did. He said "nothing.'

“You’re not gonna get it,” he says. “Cause you’re looking at it like a black girl. White girls are entirely different.”

“He” is a Black man in his thirties, who was a high school and college athlete of a popular sport. He’s also someone I've known for years but just recently started to have real conversations with. We don’t talk about personal ish often, but when we talk we never talk about surface sh--.

We also “speak the same language”, in that, everything is a story. We don’t tell you, as much as we’ll share a story about what happened and you can interpret what you will about it, good or bad.

In light of the Nate Parker fall out-- and the vastly different reactions by some women versus some men-- I asked several male friends for their take. This is one of many.

I asked this friend to weigh in on Thursday. He didn’t know who Parker was. Sometimes I forget that everyone doesn’t blog/freelance, live online and have a 100 Google alerts and “breaking news” alerts sent to their phone daily.

I break down the gist of the case for him. The quick version and just the overall facts that we all agree on. He says he will take a look at the articles and read the transcripts and get back to me with an informed answer, but if he had to say something now, it would be…

“Hold up,” he asks. “She was white or black?

Me: “Why does it matter?”

Him: “It matters.”

Me: “She was white.”

Him: “That’s what I thought. Without reading the transcript. I’m going with not rape.”

Me: “Ok. Why?”

And this is how we get to: “You’re not gonna get it. Cause you’re looking at it like a black girl. White girls are entirely different.”

I present his thoughts with no commentary:

Him: "I Learned Pretty Quickly That "No" Didn't Mean "Stop"

Him: "You’re looking at it like a black girl..."

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