In general, I hate it when married people offer dating advice (which is different from relationship advice.) Hate it! Hate it! Hate it! Marrieds don't suddenly know everything about dating and meeting men just because she met The One. And marrieds don't know about ALL men now just because she lives with A man.
I've noticed that once the engaged jump the broom, many seem to all of the sudden consider themselves authorities about everything involving the opposite sex... especially since after they're married, they seem to forget all the ish they went through before they were married (no love story is perfect.) Their "story" gets way edited, all of the sudden it's: we met, dated happily for two years with no dust ups, and then we got married, and now we'll live happily ever after. They dare you to bring up the 3AM drive-bys by his house to see if he was where he said he was (cause last time he wasn't, hence why I rode shotgun past his building.)
And I'm not saying everyone has this type of drama, but all couples have a rock the boat moment-- whether they talk about it or not. The glorified version of "How We Met" makes the marrieds story sound like a romantic comedy, but it doesn't benefit me.
I say all that to say this: I came across this married Black man's blog about dating tips. His topic was the title of this post... Pause. Go look. I'll wait..... and His post is a response to a post by another married man (a minister) who was concerned about the overwhelming number of single Black women in his church.
I agree with a lot. I disagree with a lot. (He's a smug married so the tone irks me, but he does make some good points.)
Reading his post gets me to thinking what role women play in their single-ness. And I'm only talking about women who want to be boo-ed up. Not those that are happily alone.
WANT TO READ MORE BELLE? STAY TUNED FOR MY BOOK IN JUNE 2011: A BELLE IN BROOKLYN: ADVICE FOR LIVING YOUR SINGLE LIFE & ENJOYING MR. RIGHT NOW (ATRIA)