I had a breakdown in Nairobi. Like full-on heaving sobs, snotty tears and all.

Don’t be alarmed. I do this at least once every time I travel overseas. I love traveling. I love seeing new parts of the world and meeting new people and learning and appreciating new cultures. As long as I am able, I will get on a plane regularly and go see some world. But there’s stress that comes with being far out of your comfort zone, especially when you’re solo, as I was my final day in Kenya.

Solo at home, you can operate on auto-pilot. You know the rhythm of “your” world. Abroad, you don’t. And as a result, you’re hyper-aware, operating with all senses (if you’re smart). There’s the realization that there are thousands of miles between you and the next person who personally gives a damn if something goes wrong. You are all you’ve got. That means you’ve got to be over sensitive about looking right to cross the street, your surroundings, your purse, your cash flow (because credit cards are iffy, as are ATMs) and the battery life on your phone, a savior for its GPS and list of places to go, as much as it is an emergency lifeline to you and home.

Taking off the blinders and living completely is the thrill– and occasional trigger– of traveling. This caused my flip out. Allow me to explain.